The terms burger and bun-kabob are commonly used to describe people who are either extremely westernised or extremely desi. While they can be quite funny to hear in context, they go to the core of a deeper notion—the perceived innate difference and hostilities that exist between Pakistani’s living abroad as opposed to those who are born and bred over here. Such contentions also exist among residents of other nations. In the United States, the term FOB or fresh-off-the-boat is used to describe desis that have recently migrated to the West. It seems that each group of individuals regards one another with a sense of antagonism.

Having attended college in the United States, I was able to observe how Pakistanis that were born and raised in America interacted with Pakistanis that had migrated to the country. Interestingly, both categories of people tended to form their own little cliques—those that were more westernised socialised with one another whereas those that had held onto their desi roots hung out amongst themselves.

It would also be safe to say that most students that were engulfed in western culture looked at the FOBs with contempt. The usual sentiments were that their English was not up to their standards and they definitely had no sense of fashion. Even though many of these American Pakistani students maintained a strong affinity for their own culture (they enjoy Pakistani food and Bollywood films), they tend to reject those who have not been able to embrace American culture as well as they have.

The same concept can be applied to new desi students—among them run the notions that the Pakistani students raised in the West are too lax with their morals, do not dress appropriately, have rejected their religion and culture, and think that they are better than others.

While the situation is not nearly as bad as it could be—keep in mind there are no Pakistani gangs roaming the cities wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting people—the resentment that brews between both groups is sad and, unfortunately, the media has not done much to subside it.

Though Pakistani’s and Indian’s make up a large percentage of the American population, their representation in the media is minimal. The few brown characters that do appear on television tend to be the epitome of the American perception of desis and almost always have a heavy accent. This depiction tends to serve as a point of consternation for the first generation children of Pakistanis. In their eyes, they do not relate to the people on television because, while they may look like them, they do not dress like them and they most certainly do not speak like them.

This inability to relate transfers into the real world when they encounter desis who do speak like the ones on television—they almost immediately begin to resent them. Of course, it is important to note that while this may be a common trend, it is not the rule and there are people who are able to look part one another’s differences and maintain a healthy relationship with people from the motherland.

It is definitely difficult to adjust living in a new country, especially one as different from Pakistan as the US or the UK. However, by alienating ourselves from one another we end up creating an unnecessary divide amongst people that are our own brothers and sisters from the homeland. Even though we may be aesthetically different, deep down inside we share the same ancestry, heritage, and possibly even, blood. And they don’t say that blood is thicker than water for fun. Our population has already managed to flourish in the West and if we can just learn to live in the land of opportunity with a strong sense of solidarity with all Pakistani’s, there is so much more that we can accomplish.